Growing Up

In the book Further Along the Road Less Travelled, Dr Scott Peck notes that one is never grown up. Rather, “growing is an ever ongoing process” (p. 17). Growing up means accepting one’s departure from the womb. Returning to the womb, while bringing comfort, entails a regression. Instead, “we can only go forward through the desert of life” (p. 19).

That life is like a desert indicates the rocky path that we all must tread to grow. The desert has cacti, thorns, hot sand, and sharp rocks. Each individual who has ever lived has encountered these perils during life. Thus, growing up is painful. 

Because of the pain of growing, there are many of us who refuse to grow. Such people experience what is sometimes called a “second childhood.” In fact, as Dr Peck points out, they never left their first childhood. They exhibit the traits of a two-year old: whining, demanding, and self-centered. These traits are signs of immaturity. Immaturity is the state of mind that life must meet one’s demands. In contrast, maturity is the state of mind where one sees it as a responsibility – even an opportunity - to meet life’s demands. 

Developing a mature state of mind requires courage. Dr Peck points out that courage is not the absence of fear, the absence of fear is some kind of brain damage. Rather, “courage is the capacity to go ahead in spite of the fear, or in spite of the pain” (p. 23).

Thus, growing up requires maturity and courage. The struggle of developing these traits is worth every tear, every second of despair, every bit of pain. Because as one travels through the desert one will soon enough come upon oases – patches of green and streams of underground water. When one refuses to travel and instead decides to bury one’s head in the sand, one misses out on these delights. 

May God grant us maturity and courage in order to grow. May He assist us in our journeys through the desert. Aameen.